GOOD MANNERS WILL MAKE YOU . . . A LADY/GENTLEMAN & OTHER LIFE LESSONS 1

The Excellent Ways To Instill Life-Long Lessons In Our Children & Students

MY NEW BOOKGood Manners Will Make You . . . A Lady/Gentleman & Other Life Lessons – The Excellent Ways To Instill Life-Long Lessons In Our Children & Students – is a culmination of lived experiences, lessons learned and many dozens in-service training and career development courses spanning over twenty years. I have had a very eventful life teaching in diverse classrooms in three cosmopolitan cities in three continents: Africa, Europe and Asia. I have worked in Harare, Zimbabwe (January 1994- January 2001); London and Kent (February 2001-August 2011); and Cairo, Egypt (September 2011 to present) with a term’s stint in Baku, Azerbaijan. I have also worked for Cambridge International Examinations (CIE)and Edexcel (Pearson) as an English Examiner rising to Team Leader position.

MY BOOK calls upon an array of individuals – parents and guardians, teachers, and all administrators – who have contact with children and students, to do more, learn more, and help the young men and ladies to excel. It is a clarion call for help from the society to do more to have responsible citizens!

The Excellent Ways To Instill Life-long Lessons In Our Children & Students

The many topics addressed in Good Manners Will Make You A . . .  Lady/Gentleman & Other Life Lessons reflect on the different issues our children, and students alike, face as they grow up into adulthood. Thus, helping, instilling, and teaching them to master the simple rules of etiquette will get them noticed, for all the right reasons.

Students and children, who demonstrate basic etiquette and social skills as well as show respect and consideration for others, create a more positive impression in the eyes of their peers and the adults in their lives. As a result, they are more likely to be presented with opportunities that allow them to grow and thrive. This has a major impact on their ability to excel both academically and socially, and also plays a role in determining which colleges or universities will accept them as students.

Good Manners Will Make You A . . .  Lady/ A Gentleman & Other Life Lessons can be used for individual work or for building a thoughtful and receptive community that is never shy of work, commitments, being considerate, and, ultimately, becoming law-abiding citizens.

In How To Make Our Students & Children Do Anything We Ask Of Them, I have developed a hands-on piece of work for parents, guardians, and teachers, which will project a new way of thinking by applying the language of persuasion and influence to our students and children. By the end of the book, parents, guardians and teachers – and any custodians of our children – will be on a new trajectory, where interaction with our students and children will never be the same again. It is about how these young ones can do anything we ask of them through:

  • CHANGING the words we use, making it easy to create drastic changes in behavior.
  • EXPLAINING and CREATING the illusion of choice and
  • CREATING leading questions.

This, in short, is a summary of hypnotherapist and neuro-linguistic programming expert Alicia Eaton’s book: Written Words That Work: How to Get Kids to Do Almost Anything. In her book, she reveals the above three simple tricks that every Teacher and Parent should try.

In yet another thought-provoking article: Ways To Develop Critical Thinking Skills Among Our Children & Adults Alike, the issue of our students and children is handled through a differentdimension, which is teaching them to be critical thinkers by addressing FIVE key components: i) What is Critical Thinking? ii) What Do You Want To Achieve? iii) The Benefit of Foresight; iv) Critical Thinking Skills, and v) 10 Common Critical Thinking Skills. Below, I will address…

RESPONSIBILITY to yourself, which means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and naming for you; it means learning to respect and use your brains and instincts; hence, grappling with hard work ― Adrienne Rich

In a step-by-step approach to acquiring critical thinking skills, another article, Training Reasoning Skills To Our Students & Children, will help them acquire more reasoned arguments and draw out the inferences that they need to use in their assignments, projects and examination questions as well as in their general day to day living. Thus, once the parameters have been set up for developing critical thinking among students, it is equally important to instill the reasoning behind certain assumptions.

Furthermore, in another more interesting article: Amazing Ways To Challenging Our behaviors, the onus is on YOU, the adult. I urge you to be more proactive, considerate, and assertive. Simply put, this article is the road to commitment as . . .

 “We create our fate every day . . . most of the ills we suffer from are directly traceable to our behavior.” ― Henry Miller

No matter how committed one is to a particular course of action or set of values, often our behaviors get in the way. In effect, we might want something but do the very things that stop us from achieving them. A good example from daily life is the commitment we make to go on a diet after the excesses of the festive season, only to have our ambition thwarted as we reach for one of our favorite foods. In essence, our actions can counter our original commitment. Indeed, our actions themselves can be based on a counter-commitment, behind which is a big assumption. Only by first addressing our big assumptions can we start changing our behaviors to align them with one’s original beliefs and commitments.

It is quite clear that we have to ‘attack’ both our assumptions and our competing commitments to stop sabotaging our principles and beliefs.

Similarly, in another closely related topic: Effortless Ways To Resolving Conflict: Be It At Home, School Or Work, will arm our students and children with new ways to handle conflict resolution. The article offers practical suggestions that will help diffuse escalating situations from getting worse.Here, conflict is seen as more than just a disagreement. It is a situation in which one or both parties perceive a threat (whether or not the threat is real). The key fact derived from the article is quite simple:when a conflict is mismanaged, it can cause great harm to a relationship, but when handled in a respectful, positive way, conflict provides an opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people or groups of people.

Ultimately, by learning skills for conflict resolution, you can keep your personal and professional relationships strong and growing.

Still, in line with creating young ladies and young gentlemen in our children and students alike, praise and recognition should be at the core. In the article: How Praise And Recognition Can Change Attitude @ Home, Work And School, a plethora of issues is explored. At its core, the article addresses the many facets of these three quotes:

  1. “A brave man acknowledges the strength of others.” ― Veronica Roth
  2. “Beware of those who criticize you when you deserve some praise for an achievement, for it is they who secretly desire to be worshipped.” ― Suzy Kassem.
  3. “In the arena of human life, the honors and rewards fall to those who show their good qualities in action.”– Aristotle.

The above quotes are illustrative of how we realize the power and influence of praise and recognition in our day to day living. Through motivating others, be it individuals or team members, offering praise and recognition for a job well done can be an extremely powerful tool in changing dynamics at work, school or home.

In our hectic lives, there are moments where certain attitudes need to be taught and others need to be observed and then internalized. In the part, Awesome Habits To Observe On Being A Considerate Colleague, I am looking atRobert Bolt’s masterpiece, A Man For All Seasons, where the Common Man, gives a summation of how we ought to live in this world of ours. He says:

Friends, just don’t – make trouble – or if you must make trouble, make the sort of trouble that’s expected.

Whether you are part of a team or have infrequent contact with others, it is important to ensure that you always behave appropriately or make “the expected trouble” to create harmonious and profitable working relationships.

Vigilantly observe the corporate culture in which you work, and be aware that change will happen. Your eyes and ears are your best resource in this learning process!

Intimately related to being a considerate colleague is the issue of working well with others. As our children and students grow into adulthood, and good citizens, there are certain attitudes we need to instill in them. It is the impetus driven by Essential Ideas On Working Well With Others. Certainly,most workplaces include an element of collaborative working, so it’s important to be aware of how your feelings and behaviors affect others.

We must develop the right habits when it comes to working with others as it will result in leadership opportunities, higher pay, and more rewarding work. These are the essence of why we go to work – right?

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In today’s hurly-burly way of living, it is important to develop certain tenets in our lives. In developing and acquiring positive thinking, beliefs, and values that matter, you drive your behaviors in a certain direction. In Awesome Ways To Creating A Positive Mindset, it is quite clear thatmost successful individuals are those who hold positive beliefs and values about themselves and the people around them. This further brings brightness to the eyes, as well as gives more energy, and happiness. Thus, your whole being broadcasts goodwill, happiness, and success.

Closely related to a positive mindset is the 5 Steps To Mental Wellbeing, which will take you to improve your mental health and wellbeing. The UK’s NHS provides a blueprint that can help you feel more positive and get the most out of life, be it, an adult or a child or a student.

Indeed, there are many achievable things one can get from thinking positively.

From addressing our mental wellbeing, I went on to have two articles on SPEAKING. Yes, I am talking about SPEAKING – how do you communicate with your children, students or colleagues? In Simple Tips To Improving Your Verbal Skills, I provide some useful top tips and suggestions on how to develop your skills in this key area.  By relaxing your voice when you communicate, conversation will always feel less forced, indicating that you must remain calm. If you get nervous when you speak in public, take some deep breaths before you start. Always remember to think carefully about what you are going to say before you say it and try to use clear, positive, straightforward language to avoid any misunderstandings.

In the last of many articles, the A-Z Guide To Getting The Best From Your Voice, you will learn how your voice greatly influences other people’s perceptions of you. However, most of us have no idea what we sound like until we hear a recording of our voice. Here, I provide some practical guidance and techniques to help you speak positively and with impact in any situation.

LASTLY, my last four tasks are Self-Help Assessment Tests for you, our children or students. After having completed all/most of the articles in this book, kindly try one or two of these assessments tests. They are not the alpha and omega of good living, but they offer a semblance of what you are. These topics range from ‘How Confident Am I? Low Self-Esteem Assessment Test’, to ‘Responses To Poor Behavior’, and lastly, ‘Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence Assessment Test’. You will enjoy the fun . . . and the outcomes.

DEAR READER, the articles pursued in this book will open up our students and children to new, inspiring horizons. It will also create among them, a community of enquiry together with philosophical enquiries they have never experienced before.

As old:

Be EMPOWERED and EXCEL!

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